Waiting

This week has been uneventful: no doctor visits, no tests or results, and no side effects.  Boring is wonderful. I realize we are in a state of waiting and I’ve had time to think about what that means.

What are we waiting for?

Well, medically we’re waiting to see if more brain tumors, too small to be seen in the last MRI, will appear in Harold’s next scan. It's scheduled for May 1^st.  We are waiting to see if immunotherapy will be an effective weapon against the melanoma in the rest of Harold's body. The first infusion was a week ago. The next in the series of four will be in two weeks, but we may not have indications the treatment is  working for some time. We are also waiting to see if immunotherapy will have dangerous side effects. If that happens it is usually after the second or third treatment; but so far, we’re good. 

How will the answers to the above questions effect the rest of our lives? We’re waiting to see.

We are waiting but we’re not suspended. That word brings all sorts of negative images: A principal’s office and a stern rebuke; an athlete stripped of his ability to play; or a body held motionless, waiting for the inevitable fall. That’s suspended. That’s not us.

We’re waiting, but we’re waiting on the Lord and that’s different. In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust.¹ We do have hope, we anticipate good days to come, and we trust this challenge will be for our good. That said, our waiting is a form of action. We are filling our days with purposeful living.

We’re all in a state of waiting. Life is waiting. Did I pass the test? Did I get the deal? Did I get the job. When will I heal? Often the waiting and enduring are for reasons outside our control, yet I’ve come to understand we have a choice: Waiting can be a form of suspension or it can be a call to action. We choose action. We choose faith.

I love this promise in Isaiah:
 

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.      Isaiah 40:31

Harold has walked miles and miles this week, literally and figuratively. We continue to be amazed by his progress. He has greatly increased in strength and we’ve enjoyed an even greater measure of peace.  

¹“Waiting on the Lord: Thy Will Be Done” by Elder Robert D. Hales, Ensign Nov. 2011 pg 71. http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/waiting-upon-the-lord-thy-will-be-done?lang=eng