MRI Update

Written Wednesday, Sept 26th

Every six to eight weeks Harold has an MRI to check for new tumors in his brain. The last scan was July 30^th followed by a gamma knife surgery where six tumors were treated. Today he had another MRI. 

We’ve done this enough that it is fairly routine, but there’s still a sense of anticipation. I imagined how good it was going to feel to announce that Harold’s scan was clear. No new tumors. Our celebration would light up the sky. It was a great thought . . . but not reality today. No fireworks. Not even a little sparkler. 

Harold has three new tumors and one suspicious spot. That’s not so bad. We’ve been there before. The problem is that one of the new tumors caused a vessel to bleed, creating an area of inflammation around the tumor. Now too large for gamma knife treatment, the only option is surgical removal.

Harold is scheduled for gamma knife treatment of the two smaller tumors on October 4th and brain surgery for the third on October 18^th. 

I didn't have the heart to post this yesterday. We've now had time to think about it, sleep on it, and time to realize nothing has changed. We choose faith. We'll take the next steps and continue to live as if the miracle we pray for has already been granted.  . . and in many ways it has. 

Repurposed

What makes me happy? What makes me want to get out of bed in the morning?

I woke up asking myself those questions, then spent some lazy moments considering the answers. Well, I’m happy when I’m busy with something interesting, something worthwhile. I enjoy new challenges and the promise of accomplishment. I’m driven when I feel a strong sense of purpose. 

Then my mind wandered and I started thinking about a pile of wood . . . 

The redwood deck was a constant in our backyard. It was there when we bought the house and endured more than thirty years. Located away from the main patio, it rarely served as the site for barbecues but instead became the stage for our children’s adventures. It was a theater, a spaceship, a home base for night games, and most notoriously, a launching pad to the adjacent trampoline. Eventually our children outgrew those diversions and it became the home of potted geraniums and the hammock.

 Last summer we discovered the main supports had rotted through so we tore it down, planning to build a playground for our grandchildren instead. We saved many of the deck's redwood boards hoping they could be used in the project. Harold’s cancer diagnosis derailed that plan. Those boards now seemed a useless pile of wood, taking up space and reminding me of what we weren’t doing. 

Then Harold had an idea.We need a new grape arbor – something bigger and stronger than the decorative arch we’d had for years. It too was succumbing to stress and wear. What about that pile of wood? It appeared a dull moldy gray but underneath? Hmm. Harold ran a board through the planer and jointer in his workshop then proudly presented the result. The redwood, now stripped of its weathered guise, revealed itself. It was strong, its color renewed. It was appeared fresh and true and full of possibilities.

Harold built that arbor in the early days of spring, before the grape leaves opened and before there was any evidence he would be around to enjoy it. He burned his name on a small section of the wood hidden under the arch.  

It’s interesting how things turned out. The deck was a symbol of our children’s creativity and imagination, their love of life and play.  The arbor built from the same wood has become a symbol of rebirth. 

A simple piece of wood . . . 

Like the deck, we all weather challenges and get a bit gray and worn in the process. It’s exciting to realize we also have the opportunity to be renewed and repurposed. Who’s to say the new use isn’t as good, or even better than the last. I wonder if a redwood tree would choose to be a deck or an arbor. We've come to appreciate both. 

Harold and I are in the process of being repurposed. He has just retired from a very enjoyable career in investment banking. It was a major focus of his time and the source of great satisfaction. My mothering skills are not needed as they were when six young children played out back. Now what? We’re in the process of figuring that out but this much I know: We’re not going to lie around like a pile of weathered wood.  

Here is the immediate plan:

Finish the Fight. 

Harold is doing very well but fighting cancer is a process, not an event. He is closely monitored by his oncologist, with office visits and labs every three weeks. He’ll periodically have MRI’s and eventually another PET scan. Harold continues to feel great – except for a sprained ankle earned on the racquetball court.

Enjoy our Family

Those children who giggled and plotted in the back yard are now adults, finishing educational degrees, starting families, and launching careers. It is exciting to see their dreams becoming realities and to be close enough to be part of the action. 

Refocus Skills

The skills Harold developed in his 30 year finance career are now being refocused to assist our son Darren (Dr. Jones) open his own optometry practice. It’s been fun to observe Harold in his element, sharing those skills with his son. Who knows, I may pick up some new skills too. 

Serve

Harold says service is our rent payment for living. I guess he’s right. In any event, it wouldn’t hurt to give God a reason to keep him around. Yup, that’s one bill I’m happy to pay.