Sunday, August 11, 2013

Time to Grieve


Delayed response? Perhaps. I don’t have the experience to know, but grief feels real now and I’m letting the tears flow.

There was a rush of necessary paperwork keeping me focused immediately after Harold’s death. Once I had that settled I left for Idaho to spend a few days with my father whose health was failing. I returned to Denver only to fly back to Idaho a few days later when it became apparent Dad’s time was short. It was a comfort to be with my siblings as we united to serve our father who has loved and served us so well. He died August 3rd, just twenty days short of his 95th birthday.

I’m home now and learning part of what I was not ready to know before. Here are a few thoughts:

Crying is a good thing. I use to limit my tears to the shower. No tell–tale signs, no messy tissues. It was efficient. Now they come at random moments and I don’t stop them. It hasn’t made anything worse . . . actually, I think it feels better.

Grieving doesn’t have to mean you are overcome with grief. I don’t feel overcome. I do feel periodic waves of emotion. Sometimes I just have to catch my breath and hold my heart. Then I breathe, cry a bit, and move on. Coming home this week was like that. The quiet house was a stark contrast to my busy life before. Still, I feel an overriding sense of peace. That peace comes from my understanding of Heavenly Father’s plan and the assurance that our family can be together again.

Peace also comes from understanding that loved ones who die are simply leaving their mortal bodies behind. They still exist, are busily engaged in work on the other side of the veil, and are just as aware and interested in us as they were before death. Having the opportunity to be with Harold and then my father as they made that passage has only confirmed this gospel truth.

Finally, there is great healing power in the scriptures. Words I’ve read many times before now open with greater meaning. Guess I’m not the first mortal to search for answers after losing a loved one, and I guess I’m not the first to receive comfort there; but it’s still marvelous that a loving Heavenly Father would inspire ancient prophets to write the words I need to hear now.

Yes, it’s time to grieve, to figure things out, and to grow. I am grateful for the comfort offered through knowledge of the gospel, through the scriptures, and through the love and support of family and friends.