Growing Pains

We’ve lived in our house over 30 years. We bought it for the yard, simple as that. It has lots of lawn and an even bigger orchard and garden area. Our kids dug holes to China every spring only to fill them in again as we prepared to plant the garden. Now our grandchildren have inherited the tradition.

Carly and Elodie, not yet three, run outdoors to dig. Their tiny shovels barely move the earth, but they displace enough to cake their hair with the sandy soil and color their bodies brown. There’s a soapy shower in their future (that’s become the drill at grandma’s house); but they’re not worried. They lie back in the dirt and soak up the warmth of the sun.

Just starting to dig.

Today was a day of sweet memories, a day of family, and a respite from worry. We’ve had many, many such days of peace. We’ve also had days of anxiety and pain. You’d think choosing faith would exempt you from that, but it doesn’t. Sometimes it just hurts. It hurts to see loved ones in danger or pain. It hurts to acknowledge that dreams may change. It hurts. Sometimes it just hurts.

A friend shared a talk that brought her comfort. It did the same for me. These thoughts provided perspective and answered questions I hadn’t found a way to verbalize. It is entitled, “Trust in the Lord.”¹ Here are some excerpts:

“Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously.”

That's exactly how it felt. Bet you’ve felt that too.

“When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion . . .

  

Hmm . . . should we take these challenges as a vote of confidence? If so, what next?

“To exercise faith is to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing with you and that He can accomplish it for your eternal good even though you cannot understand how He can possibly do it. . . 

Okay. Just trust.

When you pass through trials for His purposes, as you trust Him, exercise faith in Him, He will help you. That support will generally come step by step, a portion at a time. 

We have felt that support. Sometimes it is an inspired thought. Sometimes a feeling of peace. Often it is a message sent through the kind words or actions of others. However these portions come, we recognize our Savior’s hand.

   

To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain . . . While you are passing through each phase, the pain and difficulty that comes from being enlarged will continue.” 

So feeling discomfort or pain is not a sign of weakness but is a part of the process. If that’s the case, we have permission to grieve and to groan while holding on to hope. We can see our trials for what they really are – a chance to strengthen our faith.  

I want to be carried through Harold's illness. I want to be cradled, to be protected from anxiety as I’d been during my own cancer fight. Much of the time we are. Then there are days of pain. You long to be a child out playing in the dirt,  unaware of the effort it takes to plant and to reap.You long to just bask in the warmth of the Son. Then you realize:

Perhaps it’s time to dig deeper. Perhaps it’s time to grow. 

 ¹“Trust in the Lord” by Elder Richard G. Scott. –  Ensign Nov. 1995.   
      http://www.lds.org/ensign/1995/11/trust-in-the-lord?lang=eng