The Formula

It’s easy to write when the news is good. And then sometimes it’s not. 

Harold had a PET scan last Tuesday to check the status of tumors in the rest of his body. We got the results on Friday. The immunotherapy, which appeared to be working earlier, is not doing enough now. While the cancer has not spread to any major organs, there are some small tumors that have not responded to treatment. In addition, immunotherapy has not prevented new tumors from developing in Harold’s brain. Gamma knife took care of the last ones, so he's clear right now, but we need a systemic treatment. Thankfully, there is a plan B. 

Harold is starting a six week round of chemotherapy administered in pill form. The pill form of treatment is more effective on brain tumors than traditional chemotherapy infusion treatments. If it works it will also attack the other tumors in Harold’s body. Generally well tolerated, Harold might not even loose his hair. 

It has taken me a while to wrap my mind around this latest setback. It is such a sharp contrast to the joy we’ve felt over the past week as Harold has emerged from his post brain surgery fog. He really does feel good and is able to think and speak normally. His strength has returned as well as the sparkle in his eye. We’ve enjoyed some brisk two mile walks, some leisurely talks, and time with family and friends.  

Throughout Harold’s cancer challenge there has been one constant in our lives. A strong sense of peace. This latest news interrupted that flow but didn’t break it. Harold was the first to rebound. I had to process a bit longer. Sometimes you rely on the slightest hope offered by doctors. They did tell of one patient whose case was similar to Harold’s who used this chemo treatment and has survived over ten years. But statistically, it’s a rarity.

Sometimes you have to dig a little deeper, work a little harder, grieve a bit, then breathe. I’ve learned there is a well of love and comfort available – an outpouring from our Savior that lets you know he’s still there. We are in capable hands. We will be OK.

Back when I taught Sunday School I’d often put this formula on the board:  L+ L + W = P. It’s a true formula found in the scriptures. I’ve tested it and it works.

Learn of me and listen to my words. Walk in the meekness of my spirit and you shall have peace in me.¹ 

There is a cost in effort, but the value of peace? Priceless.

 

¹Doctrine and Covenants 19:23